THOR, PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

:D

I would like you to know that you are fully responsible for the destruction of Nick Fury’s second computer today.

Sincerely,

Philip Coulson, who now has a head wound because Fury just actually threw it across the room OH GOD

There are so many of you maggots that are just BEGGING FOR ME TO SMACK YOUR SORRY ASSES DOWN

I AM NOT HAVING IT TODAY

***

And at this point, I feel it pertinent to tell you that our eminently wise Director, one Nicholas Fury, punched a large and rather costly hole in his computer screen before he even signed his name to that missive. 

Clearly, we Avengers are in good hands.

xx

Tony

DO IT. NOW. OR THE BLACK WIDOW’S BREASTS WILL ENLARGEN AND CAUSE ALL AVENGER MALES TO SUFFOCATE. ‘CEPT THOR, HE’S FAB.

sometimes there are those answers that defy reactions except shaking ones head very slowly back and forth in complete speechless disbelief and the beginnings of hysteria

this is one of them

-clint

HEY FUCKASS WE NEED MORE NICK-FUCKING-FURY BY YESTERDAY.

You I like.

-Nick Fucking Fury

blondaimehokage answered: bring it. we can handle it

MOAR ANGRY/SWEARING NICK FURY. (PS I love you)

You’re a little SMARTASS, aren’t you? 

Replying to the post was supposed to be the NEGATIVE RESPONSE, YOU NINCOMPOOP. 

YOU WANT MORE ANGRY, SWEARING NICK FURY? YOU CAN’T FUCKING HANDLE MORE ANGRY, SWEARING NICK FURY!

-NICK MOTHAFUCKIN FURY

Like this if you want more Nick Fury on this blog in general

A sample memo from Nick Fury

DEAR ASSHATS,

WHAT IN THE GODDAMN HELL DO YOU IDIOTS THINK YOU’RE FUCKING DOING RUNNING A MOTHERFUCKING BLOG ABOUT TOP. SECRET. SHIELD. SHIT. I HOPE TO GOD NONE OF YOU ARE TOO ATTACHED TO YOUR TESTICLES BECAUSE IF I FIND OUT THAT LOKI KNOWS ALL OF YOUR STUPID FUCKING HABITS AND WEAKNESSES THAT YOU ARE SO CAVALIERLY FLAUNTING ON THIS SORRY EXCUSE FOR A BLOG AND DECIDES TO USE THAT AGAINST YOU, THEY ARE GOING TO BE FORCIBLY FUCKING REMOVED FROM YOUR BODIES.

YOU TOO, BLACK WIDOW. 

Respectfully,

Nicholas M. F. Fury

S.H.I.E.L.D Director 

(Source: theavengersshouldnttext)