THOR, PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!

Steve: I just finished watching Clockwork Orange…

Tony: Like I asked? Good. Enjoy it?

Steve: It scared me horribly. I think I might have nightmares from it.

Tony: Really? I like it.

Steve: You are sick.

Tony: True.

Tony: Do you want to sleep in my bed tonight?

Steve: …

Tony: Well?

Steve: I’ll get my pillow.

—

Submitted by butmaddnessismorefun

(Source: theavengersshouldnttext)

Steve: We can’t act like it was no big deal. This could turn into a real problem.Tony, we have to talk about it.

Tony: okay JUST BECAUSE A MAN’S ARC REACTOR MALFUNCTIONS DURING STRESSFUL EPISODES OF BUFFY Tony: AM I NOT ALLOWED EMOTIONS?

Steve: I was really scared, Tony! I thought you were going to die.

Tony: OH YEAH and you didn’t cry like someone was murdering puppies when we saw the reichenbach falls

Steve: That’s completely different, Tony!

Tony: IN WHAT UNIVERSE

Steve: Tony! I just want to know everything will be okay and that we can watch season finales without you having to rush down to the lab and fix yourself. I felt so powerless, it was horrible.

Tony: okay fine captain good samaritan would you feel better if I taught you how to fix it?

Steve: Yes, thank you.

Steve: Now might be a good time…I can hear JARVIS’s warnings from here. Are you watching the last episode of M*A*S*H again?

Tony: no

Tony: ow

Tony: maybe

(Source: thevengersshouldnttext)

Tony: pepper code light purple again

Tony: the fuck do I do

Pepper: What’s going on this time? Please dont tell me its another ASPCA commercial, we taked about those.

Tony: No it’s worse

Tony: so

Tony:much

Tony:worse

Pepper: Okay, calm down. What’s the matter?

Tony: oh god hes clinging to my arm HE’S A FUCKING SUPER SOLDIER OW THAT SMARTS.

Pepper: Tony, you’re going all Thor on me. Explain. What’s wrong?

Tony: were at the theatre and Steve is FREAKING OUT

Pepper: Scary movie?

Tony: not even! Its rated G for fucks sake!

Pepper: What’s he scared of?

Tony: the 3d effects, i think, he digs his nails into my arm every time it’s used.

Pepper: You took someone from the 40s to a 3D? Did you give him any warning?

Pepper: Never mind. I know you didn’t. Now put the armrest up and let him hide his face in your jacket and feed him gummy worms or whatever it is you superheroes do on dates.

Tony: help yourself to anything on my behalf. You know my credit information.

Pepper: You’re welcome, Tony.

Tony: steve baby what are you wearing

Steve: Um… pajamas. Why?

Tony: describe them.

Steve: I asked Pepper about this, because it is weird that you are asking me these things, and she said you are trying to have sex with me over the phone, is that true?

Tony: come on, ive been in fucking moscow for a week

Tony: do you understand me? a week.

Tony: so humor me, god dammit.

Steve: Okay, I’ll try.

Tony: okay, what are you wearing?

Steve: Nothing…

Steve: Wait, do I actually have to be naked?

Tony: okay, I give up.

Steve: how about this… you need to just hurry up and get on a plane here, quick smart, so we can fondue.

Steve: Hey, um, Tony… I was on your computer and, well…

(picture 1 credit pictures 2&3 credit )

Steve: Care to explain?

Tony: see well there’s two things that make this unfair one is that you are captain america

Steve: And two?

Tony: Well its more of an add-on to the first.

Steve: Yes?

Tony: Well you are kind of the most attractive person and the actual most perfect human being on this or any other world.

Steve: And that makes this okay?

Tony: and… well I kind of think I love you

Steve: Oh goodness, that’s sweet.